2011 HOUSTON TEXANS DRAFT PICKS

Blue Abstract

WHILE YOU WERE AWAY THE MEDIA PLAYED BY LM

4-29-2011

WHILE YOU WERE AWAY THE MEDIA PLAYED LESBO 


Dear Lesbo,

Normally I wouldn't begin a letter with dear to another man but dear gives the letter more validity.  How is your trip?  Is Detroit rolling out the red carpet and doing it Htown style?  When you return home, be sure to ask intercontinental airport to hose the Detroit stank off you.  I am writing to keep you up on what took place while you were away.  I am sure at this moment you are thinking "damn dude don't depress me" but the truth is, you have no choice.

Greg Koch vs John McClain

Although this incident took place a couple of weeks ago, John and Greg got into a mild verbal disagreement on the direction of the Texans.  Of course I agreed with Greg but John had some valid points so you may ask "exactly what did they disagree about"?  Welp you see that's sort of the issue, my dog ate my computer therefore I don't have the audio so I called the other operatives to ask if they had the audio and the dog ate their computer too.  My fail safe plan was to retrieve the audio from sports radio 610 because they ALWAYS have audio of John McClain appearances but to my surprise NO AUDIO.  OK here's the deal, the exchange was pretty heated and it has been referenced in other shows but there is no audio out there to go back and listen.  Oh well, I guess this exchange between Greg and John will go down as another local radio urban legend.

DRAFT 

Generally speaking, the whole fan base is afraid of what Rick and Gary could screw up in the draft.  I guess you read Peter King's article stating the Texans would/should trade with San Fran at 7 to get Patrick.  Initially John McClain didn't agree with Peter but now McClain is pushing it tough however McClain believes the Texans will take Aldon Smith.

JOSH AND RICH

What can I say about the couple.  These two guys are just as silly and gay as they can be.  When I say gay I don't mean in a homosexual way but more in an almost homosexual way.  You know how Rich operates, he makes inflammatory statements and while telling his audience "I'm not trying to be inflammatory".  This is what he has been reduced to, trying to keep up with the wits of Josh.  Any who Monday, Rich tried his best to get a stir out of the audience by constantly referencing Kobe Bryant as God while quickly notating "I know it's a day after Easter and I am not trying to make people mad".  No big deal but the pattern becomes evident the 29th time he referenced it.  Then there is the little "Blow" incident that recently occurred.  Josh threw Rich and Ben a hypothetical question, would you blow as in blow up, if you caught me with your wife or girlfriend.  Rich replied by saying yes I would blow; I would use legs and fist.  Woooo I thought we were safe but Rich being the wacky guy he is had to pause and add, he would blow with teeth too.  I am going to leave that one alone.  I simply turned to Charlie Pallilo.

Then there is the Milo Hamilton incident.  Milo basically called Lance Bergmann out and Josh thought it was bush league to be all up in Lance's ass while he was here but now that he's gone, you rip him.  Honestly, I am with Josh on this however, Josh needs to look at his coworker Marc.  While Carr was a member of the Texans, Marc head was so deep in David's ass, the City of Houston thought David had hemorrhoids but now that David is gone, viola he can talk about him.  In other words, don't act like Milo is the only one doing things like this.

On the strength though, Rich and Josh have been coming with it and I would say 80% of their segments are sports related.  There's still the element of fart jokes but for the most part it's been solid.  I have to say, you were right about your assessment of Josh.  Josh's father called the show and brought down the house with his impersonations but the more telling part of the bit was the casual talk he and his father has.  It's more like a brother/brother relationship vs father/son.  It's a must hear.


As stated before, I like the show but I don't care to hear about sex all the damn time: heterosexual and damn sure not gay innuendos therefore instead of bitching about it, I simply turn the channel or write.


RALPH COOPER

Well Ralph is doing what Ralph does.  Challenge his audience to social sports issues.  In other words Ralph is attacking the stories others can't because they won't deliver it in an objective fashion.  He is also talking about the all star lineup of applicants for the Rocket's Job.  Kind of hard for me to discuss Ralph since I have a build in bias with the Evan E Worthing connection.

THEM 1560 BOYS

After the Titan Rick v Super G fiasco, I decided to listen to Super G a little more this week.  Yep, I been snooping around but actually the Super G is harmless.  Lance has been going draft crazy and honestly I doubt if anything else on Earth registers to him at this period.  I also asked what's the inside joke about NFL Network, the guys acted surprise.  I was under the impression that NFL Network was perceived as a joke in the media since I hear Sports Radio 610 hint to the network being a joke but they were like "what's wrong with NFL Network, they are informed analyst that know the game".  Now I am starting to wonder if NFL Network is a direct competitor of CBS because 610 will lead you to believe NFL Network is trash and that's one of the few national shows I like because the majority of the guys are affiliated with the NFL in some degree.

Sean Pendegast and John Harris started an event a couple years ago called something draft, I guess one of the 1560 inside things but basically you have to be selected to participate and you draft whatever you want.  Travis Rodgers pick basically brought down the house and honestly I am a little uncomfortable talking about Travis Rodgers' pick therefore you just have to hear it.  In addition to Travis, David Nuno went in DJ SCREW mode and basically shot it up to the whole damn H.  It was like 1997 listening to a Screw tape when Stick 1, Lil Ke Ke would go for like 10 minutes giving it up to South Park.  It was cool and I had to go listen again to see if my name was in there and YEP YEP it was.

Raheel had eye surgery in addition to letting the audience know he proposed to his dime piece.


Sean Pendergast's caller volume has increased significantly.  We are talking like an average of 3 calls per segment.  I know you can't put too much stock into it being that it's draft week but the callers have increased.  In addition to caller volume, he is having one of the cast members of Swamp People on (Troy and Jacob).  


RICK SMITH PRESS CONFERENCE

Now for the money shot, Rick Smith.  Rick Smith conducted his annual pre-draft press conference.  The one thing I observed was the jovial mood he seemed to be in when the questions came via Texan affiliates but the smug look he gave when the questions came from other stations.  Instead of listening on radio, I watched the interview on Texans TV.  Someone asked him about the draft philosophy of need vs best player available and Rick looked them dead in the eye and said "you don't draft/reach for need, you must stay committed to your board".  It was at this time the twitter world begin screaming Kareem Jackson.  I actually contacted Adam Wexler with the Kareem Jackson as Adam tried to follow up but not quite to the bone.  As if that was not enough someone asked him about the Kick Return game and your General Manager said it's not a problem because we have Trindon Holiday and  Jacoby Jones.  

Earlier in the interview, Rick decided to give a joke about scratching which no one laughed at but Barry Warner where he had to let the audience know it was a joke and only Barry got it.  The most important part of this interview is when Rick said we need to do something different than last year because last year was unacceptable.  With that being said this can only mean one thing.  In the past when CBS pan the camera to Bob McNair's suite, you would see Bob, President bush and a dark figure sitting in the back.  That black figure was Rick Smith but now he is going to be more proactive in that 2011. LAP DANCING.  In 2011 when we look at the Bob suite, it's going to be more exotic.


WRAP IT UP

Dude I would have included your 20 minute Cam Rant but that would be considered a "shameless plug" or I would have included Max Edison going thermal nuclear energy in a VY discussion but you were in town.  Basically, the local media cut a leg while you were away.




Sincerely 


THROWED OFF CREEP


OUT

LM
HMW
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PRODUCED BY: HMW

A Drop of Barney

Name: Jake or Barney- whatever makes you comfortable.

Age: 27 and a half

Tell me about yourself: I’m a Civil Engineer, working at a great firm in Collingwood (don’t pay enough but there is a great culture here- that being said I’m completing this in work time). I live in Prahran, spend a lot of my spare time at the gym, going to gigs, surfing and being “socially active”. Music is one of my true passions, I spend a lot of money on CD’s and gigs, I used to play a lot of guitar- but being a single man, there is not a lot of time for it anymore. I’m a patient type of person, a pacifist of sorts but I have no tolerance for people that do not use common sense.

How many tattoos do you have: I have one moderately large tattoo. If I was going to get one I was going to do it properly.

Age when you got your first tattoo: 26

Do you have a favourite tattoo?: Not particularly. I think a lot of musicians with numerous tattoos (even of clashing themes) have a really good spread of tattoos. I find a lot of people with a lot tattoos look like they have been rushed and they come off as looking like stickers pasted across their bodies.

Any more tattoos planned?: Perhaps in the future. It will either be a small piece (text or something) or another larger piece that compliments my original artwork. I may also get my tattoo tidied up a bit around the edges.

Favourite style of tattooing?: I do like oriental. Although it has been done to death now.

Any other modifications? Piercing etc.?: For me to know you to find out!

What is your tattoo story?: I had wanted a tattoo for around 5 years- but could never afford one. I wanted a koi to start with but this had been done by everyone. I like the blossom trees and saw an energy drink advertisement that inspired me further. It wasn’t until I saw an oriental tiger that the concept clicked - I had my unique tattoo.

I was going through a bit of a rough patch, had to cut back on my partying/drinking a bit and in doing this I realised that it would be the perfect time to get the tattoo. I wanted to do it for myself, and it was something I had wanted a long time. It was quite an emotional thing getting the tattoo because I was one step closer to closing that shit chapter of my life. Once I had the tattoo, I realised I needed this- it was right.

After taking this bold move, my life and thoughts about life have changed a lot. I can honestly say my tattoo has experienced one of the most rewarding, adventurous and amazing years of my life. I’m sure that the tiger and I will have a lot of adventures to come, our next, being a trip to South America.

There is no real significant meaning to my tattoo. I didn’t want there to be a meaning behind it. It is neutral. No one else influenced me. If my thoughts on life change, my tattoo won’t. That being said I’m a fanatical Richmond supporter, if I ever have kids- it makes it easier to explain and I’m never going to stop supporting the tigers.

I love my tattoo but I’m still scared of it. I’m not sure when, or what I’ll get next, but I have never regretted getting a tattoo. It was an adventure and now it is a journey.

Tattoo by Craig Riley at Dangerzone Tattoo

HOUSTON TEXANS FAN REACTION, THIS IS BEFORE THEY PUT THE SPIN JOB ON JJ

4-28-2011

I have no problem with JJ Watt but I want you to hear the fan reaction and the spinning.  Clearly the fans are booing JJ but Marc puts the kiss of mediocrity on what you heard.  Just listen, this is your boy at work.

Listen to this audio close because I remember a certain person saying it's not too far fetched for Mario Williams to be traded. We will never follow what these guys say.  Listen real close to this audio how they were completely shocked with the exception of Mike Meltser.  John Lopez even did a make shift poll without even mentioning JJ Watt.  Are crucifying them for not knowing, hell know but they will pretend to know everything about this guy.  In all fairness the only mock I have seen with JJ Watt was Lance Zierlein but is that really saying anything when he's mocking every damn day.    I can't front though, Lance called it.

As far as Kalu, he sounded upset.  I mean thanks ND for having my same thought process of Mario or Smith being traded but calm down dog.  I didn't even include the audio of Kalu asking Watts "SO WHATS YOUR PLAYING STYLE".  Classic stuff man.

I'll Say it again, I am happy for what the Titans and Jaguars did.  The Texans could have came out of the first round crippled but thanks to the other teams, I'm breathing.

BELOW IS THE AUDIO

OUT

SEINFELDIAN DRAFT

4-28-2011

SEAN PENDERGAST & THE SEINFELDIAN DRAFT

I have been in deep talks with my granny asking her if we have any white relatives in Connecticut.  First he hit me with Pawn Stars "Big Hoss".  Then followed it up with an interview from the producer of Swamp People. Next comes Jim Rome on a Mobile and back-doored it with #RomeOnAMobile.

Of course I am thinking he can't out do himself with knock off Smack Off but then he hits me with the Seinfeldian Draft in addition to having Troy from Swamp People on Friday.  Sean i am letting you know right now, I'm done listening, I can't take no more.  Dude you are trying to tap into my mind and I can't have that, I HAVE TO BE OBJECTIVE.

On the real if you are not listening or finger boxing with Sean Pendergast at 1560 THE GAME, you are missing out.  I have been on Sean for about 2 months thanks to Matt Thomas 790 leaving the air for spring baseball.  This is a pretty cool listen.  One of the bitches I had about Sean was his interviewing and call volume.  I admit, I still don't care for the interviews but as of late the callers has increased.  Here's the deal, Sean's identity is identified via twitter and he will have a hard time trying to go conventional radio but that's the beauty, he don't have to do that.  He could possibly be changing the game as he grow with technology.  I am not advocating for Sean to rely on twitter heavily nor am I advocating he is the only one but in Houston he is clearly the twitter voice.

Seinfeldian Draft

Honestly as Sean promoted the draft,  I wasn't feeling and to be honest I still think it's dumb.  However, as a professional radio listener, I felt it was my due diligence to listen.  I think it's dumb because the average JOE BLOW do not understand what these "Skull and Bones" keywords mean.  Man I aint with all that but like I said I listen and got the vibe of what was happening and it was actually good programming.  I will say it until the cows come home, 1560 need to get out of all of this "we are the smaller guy with a true following" mode".  Like I asked Lance a while back do you rather be Overpaid or Under Rated.  Forget all that, the Seinfeldian Draft was good and my three favorite picks were:  

• Marcus Coleman w/ the California Rehab Center
• David Nuno w/The Witch Doctor 
• Travis Rodgers w/a Pick to Disgusting for HMW

WRAP IT UP

I am just trying to have fun.  I think this needs to be said; if HMW or LM is blogging you for the good or bad that means you are interesting to some degree.  With that being said, in the coming weeks I will let you know where my listening habits lie these days in addition to feedback from research I'm conducting.  Eff Personal People Meters (PPM), that's coming real soon. WINK

OUT

Listen below to my favorite Seinfeldian Picks

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LM
HMW
Email: hmw_lm@yahoo.com
Twitter: HMW_CREEPS

SPORTS RADIO 610 LET THE SPINNING BEGIN BY HMW

4-28-2011

SPORTS RADIO 610 LET THE SPINNING BEGIN

This article is for Marc Vandermeer, Rich Lord, Barry Warner, and ND Kalu.  Hey guys how is it going?  Today is an important day as the NFL Draft is upon us.  As I write, I am aware there is a 98.2% chance the Texans will make the wrong decision this evening however that leaves an 1.8% chance they may actually get it right.  With that being said, we want you to know, HMW is with you.

HMW would like to be your shoulder to sob on when the spinning begins tonight and clear into Monday morning.  In the likelihood of the Texans screwing up this draft, prep your show as if they just landed Von Miller, Patrick Peterson, AJ Green, Julion Jones all with just one pick.  It would be similar to the "magic bullet" in 1963.  I know all of you guys are scared to death right now because you know you have to put on your wax lips for the next 5 days from all of the Texan butt kissing but hey you got a job to do and HMW understand.

Look, if the Texans were to draft a tight end, it's your job to tell us "a tight end is the secret to this team becoming a playoff team".  Yes, HMW is nervous with you but we depend on you guys to sell a bunch of bull crap to make those jitters go away like the way Kareem Jackson was spent.

This is a decree from HMW, we will not get on you for ass kissing because this is a job you must fulfill.  I am sorry, ass kissing is a bit harsh lets just call it "brown nosing".  HMW are giving the four of you a pass on this weekend but people who's not legally obligated to pucker up will get scorched.  HMW wants the brown nosing left to the professionals.  In other words Josh, Shaun, Mike, John and Greg you guys are not allowed to spin (as if you would anyway).  Of course all of this is a mute point if the Texans actually do the right thing "YEA RIGHT".

Have a happy draft.

HMW

ONE DOLLAR BY MARCUS COLEMAN

04-27-2011

ONE DOLLAR

The news that Judge Susan Nelson granted the injunction by the players to lift the NFL lockout is not as surprising as made out to be. I would say congratulations are in order, however I’ve never been someone to play the rah-rah role about anything. I do commend Judge Nelson for examining the facts, being firm, and making a logical decision based on what she was presented with. For those of you that have seen “Trading Places” with Eddie  Murphy and Dan Aykroyd, Randolph and Mortimer Duke bet one dollar they could turn a common criminal into a successful businessman while in turn destroying Louis to see if he resorts to crime once out of his rich environment. 

I am not sure who the individual was Commissioner Goodell bet his one dollar salary with that the NFL and owners would have the lockout remain in place, but it is clear he is upset and is in jeopardy of losing his one dollar salary. The lockout is bad for everyone, owners, players, and the fans. There is no reason it should have gotten to this point. No one that I know wants the 2011 NFL season to be missed. What I find interesting is the hypocrisy he displays in his letters and interviews, for example.

Hypocritical Statement 1: “For many years, the collective bargained system-which has given the players union enhanced free agency and capped the amount that owners spend on salaries-has worked enormously well for the NFL, for NFL players, and for NFL fans.”  Yep,worked so well that you and your yuppy band of brothers decided to put everyone on the streets because another billion dollars is what you guys need. There are people in this country that can’t even eat and I’m sure some of the season ticket holders took out second or third mortgages on their homes to come watch their teams play. While you fight over all this money, think of that instead of being insensitive thinking of your own pockets. You, Commissioner Goodell, destroyed what was good, for the league and for the people.

Hypocritical Statement 2: Under this vision, players and fans would have none of the protections or benefits that only a union (through a collective-bargaining agreement) can deliver. What are the potential ramifications for players, teams, and fans ? Some of the examples listed are no draft, players signing wherever they wanted out of college, no minimum payroll, no guarantee for injured players, no benefits players funneled to same teams, etc. First and foremost that is all a lie. For those of you that work for corporations no matter how enormous or how minute, federal law requires insurance, workers comp, 401 k’s etc especially with companies as large or larger than the NFL.  No draft ? Last I checked, the NFL was in a lockout up until yesterday and the draft was still scheduled for Thursday evening. So that is a mute point as well. Although I am not in favor of players making deals like Lebron, Wade, and Bosh did, I did enjoy the years that teams like the 49ers, Cowboys, and Giants, were dynasties of the NFL, and with players deciding to play where they want it could present itself again.

Hypocritical Statement 3: “Is this the NFL that fans want ? A league where carefully constructed rules proven to generate competitive balance-close and exciting games every Sunday and close and exciting divisional and championship contests-are cast aside ? Do the players and their lawyer have so little regard for the fans that they think this really serves their interests ? 

The only thing the fans have wanted this entire time is for you, the commissioner, to do your job and bring the two sides together and work out a deal. Period! Instead commissioner, you decide to take favor of one side. Could it be because your under the table pay-offs, or your salary, which was 11 million last year, has a chance to increase substantially more if the owners get another billion on top of the other billion they already receive ? Making that last statement honestly caused me to dry heave. Sometimes the mind of a conspiracy theorists does not work in our favor. Remember, this was all started by the owners and Goodell jumped on board. What the fans want is not a thought of you nor the owners, mainly because the importance of the sport is known by both parties, and it's known the fans will return to watch the great game of football despite what happens.

Although the 9 billion dollar pie is not completely ironed out, at least allow the players and coaches to go back to work. Be able to have OTA’s, off-season workouts, film study in the facility, and free agent signings. I propose that because 9 billion seems to be the only real problem with the entire negotiation process. Meeting on that issue alone gives you 4-5 months to hammer out a deal. This is not rocket science people, this is a case of greed and businessmen over-thinking themselves and the system in place. (Which according to Goodell has worked so so well) In the ending of Trading Places, Louis and Billy Ray come together and win over the Winthorpe’s, fittingly over one dollar. I would like to thank the commissioner for being sympathetic and reducing his 11 million dollar salary down to a dollar.  I am confident that was an easy decision to make, considering he most likely received the other 10,999,999 dollars in some form of a bonus that does not count towards the books. But for his one dollar , it seems he still may have lost.

Marcus Coleman
HMW
Twitter: @patchmc42

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