COMMENTS FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY
Written by: Mike in DA
Date posted: 2/24/2011
TRICK-SHOT GOALIE
FROM THE HMW MAILBAG:
Robnemar and Cliff both commented on Craig Shelton’s post of 2/14,"THE BLOCK IS HOT" & SO IS @979TheBox! - CRAIG SHE..." (http://sheltonmedia.blogspot.com/2011/02/maddhatta979-lesbiancraig-block-is-hot.html):
“This is a well stated point of view. I think music radio vs. sports radio is an interesting discussion. I think music is a much more effective way to bridge the gap because at the core of music radio, the music is what you hear. Sports talk radio is just that, you hear a lot of talk. So the radio hosts tend to make the shows about themselves more than they let sports actually dictate the direction of their respective shows. It is hard for them to get out of their own ways. But music is just so much different. It doesn't even matter the genre of the music or core demographic of the listeners. Music isn't personal. Talk radio is. With that said, I don't know how you go about bridging the gaps and bring forth understanding to the powers that be that we feel need to be enlightened. You can lead the fool to the well, but you can't force him to drink. Especially when the fool doesn't realize they are thirsty. No matter how much information you feed them, they never reason within themselves to think that they fall short in these socially charged and motivated circumstances and situations. Their experiences haven't taught them that they lack anything. So it is hard. Nevertheless, just because it is difficult doesn't mean that it shouldn't be done. The effort should always be made in order to try and bridge the gap. The thing is, we can only do it one person at a time. Hopefully, this person will reveal himself some day.” From Robmemar. END.
“I appreciate the attempt to compare the two since I like both music and sports, but the comparison comes up short. You are comparing an urban music station on an FM dial which has more youngsters and women who listen against a talk format on an AM dial that has more older men listening. I'm not sure why you would compare the two. You could compare The Box and The Buzz for a better head to head.” From Cliff. END.
TODD HELTON DOESN'T SEEM TO LIKE WORKING OUT IN SPRING TRAINING!
FLUB OF THE DAY
On Monday’s afternoon show (2/21) on SR 610, Rich Lord and Josh Innes were talking about horsebreeding involving a story about two thoroughbreds, Rachel Alexandra and Curlin, both former Eclipse Award winners as Horse of the Year. Obviously, from their conversation, these two fuckin' clowns don’t know the first thing about horse breeding and when that’s the case when they know little or nothing about a topic, they try to make a comedy routine out of it to cover their ignorance. It would have been nice if they did some research on this topic and informed their listeners, but that may have been too much work for them.
On Channel 57’s (KUBE) Sunday night show, “High School Sports Zone”, there was a graphic showing the nominees for Boys High School Player of the Year that viewers are to vote on. One of the nominees shown was Demarcus Johnson of Jones HS. However, the graphic and host Todd Freed had Johnson playing for Yates. If he did, Yates would probably still be undefeated.
On Sunday’s (2/20) afternoon show with Brien Straw and Greg Koch, there were beaucoup flubs. Former NFL kicker, Jan Stenerud, was a phone guest. The guys who I’m sure did their “google research” on Jan before the show, asked him how he and his teammates felt about playing in the first Super Bowl againstGreen Bay . If they did a good job of Wikipedia “research”, they should have known that Jan was still attending Montana State at that time.
Brien continued his flubs by saying that Chris “Birdman” Anderson once played for the Utah Jazz. He actually played for the Denver Nuggets, New Orleans Hornets, and then back to Denver with no Utah on the map for Chris as a player.
If you think some of our local sports talkers are unredeemable pieces of dreck, you haven't met Jim Gray. He has been working for the Golf Channel, which I take to be a good thing because that means I am highly unlikely to have to see or hear anything from this douche bag. Recently, Gray was removed from the Golf Channel coverage of a PGA event because Gray got into a shouting match with the caddy for one of the tournament participants. This leads me to ask a question: Is it not time to make Jim Gray into an non-person?
Gray is the guy who did the famous “ambush interview” for Pete Rose at the 1999 MLB All-Star Game. He also got into a shouting match with the US Ryder Cup Captain last year threatening that the captain was “going down” because Gray asserted he was a liar. Then there was the embarrassing lip-lock he put on LeBron James’ nether regions in that fawning interview on “The Decision”.
Like some of our sports talkers, would you as a sports fan feel less informed if Jim Gray never spoke into a live microphone again?
HEY DUDE, GET YOUR HEAD OUTTA MY ASS!
In last Saturday’s post (2/19), it was mentioned that Art Schlichter, as well as Alex Karras and Paul Hornung, are members of the Crier’s Corner Hall of Fame.
For those not familiar with the Crier's Corner Hall of Fame, below is a list of the people inducted into the Hall by year. Each year two people and one gambling-related movie are selected:
Class of 2004:
Pete Rose
Carroll Rosenbloom
"The Sting" (1973)
Class of 2005:
Michael Jordan
Wilt Chamberlain
"House of Games" (1987)
Class of 2006
Art Schlichter
Phil Mickelson
"Casino" (1995)
Class of 2007:
Paul Hornung
Alex Karras
"The Hustler" (1961)
Class of 2008:
Ben Affleck
John Daley
"The Cooler" (2003)
Class of 2009:
Charles Barkley
Lenny Dykstra
"The Rounders" (1998)
Class of 2010:
Allen Iverson
Rick Tocchet
"The Gambler" (1974)
Class of 2011:
Tim Donaghy
Antoine Walker
"Bugsy" (1991)
MIGUEL CABRERA'S SMILING MUG SHOT FOLLOWING LAST WEEK'S DUI ARREST:
ANOTHER HALL OF SHAME YOU PROBABLY NEVER KNEW EXISTED!
The Peanut Gallery’s Bizarro Sports Endorsement Hall of Shame Class of 2011 was announced last week. The three inductees for the Class of 2011 are:
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: In one of his books he credits his NBA longevity of 20 years to wearing low-cut sneakers, claiming that high-tops transfer shock to the knees. He then did TV ads for Reebok high-tops. In the same book, he claimed to avoid drinking alcohol. He wrote drinking not only violates Islam, it destroys families. He then did a TV commercial for Coors.
ESPN’s Chris Berman: He has been a simultaneous endorser of Nutrisystem weight loss products and fried meat and cheese platters at Applebee’s.
Dan Dierdorf: He simultaneously endorsed weight loss products and Lay's Potato Chips.
FOLLOW THE BOUNCY BALLS!
COOLEST SPORTS NICKNAMES: “TIGER”
Today’s sports nicknames are terrible, such as Gonzo, Grandy, Junior, I-Rod, and Little O. They are mostly nothing more than a combination of a player’s first and last name. But nicknames haven’t always been so bad.
Here is another cool one from the past though he is still active: “Tiger”.
Almost three decades ago, Eldrick Woods was given the “Tiger” nickname by his father, Earl, in honor of a fellow South Vietnamese soldier. Earl was a U.S. Army Ranger infantry officer who served two tours of duty in Vietnam working with the ARVN (Army of the Republic of Vietnam for the acronym-challenged) and retired with the rank of lieutenant colonel. His friend’s name was Col. Vuong Dang “Tiger” Phong. Eldrick became generally known by that name and by the time he had achieved national prominence in junior and amateur golf, he was simply known as “Tiger” Woods.
However, after his marital infidelities and winless turbulent season last year, here are some suggestions for a second nickname that might be more appropriate for Tiger: Cheetah, Mr. Wood, Tee-Baller, Putt-putt, Mr. Sandtrapped, Mr. Bogey, Mr. Banana Ball, Mr. Florida Scramble, Elin's Caddie, Mr. Shank, Mr. “Just Did It”, and Scumbag.
DO THE PEOPLE OF ALASKA AND VERMONT KNOW THEIR BASEBALL?
PUJOLS MOST LIKELY WILL STAY A CARDINAL!
As predicted here several weeks ago, the lack of a deal between the St. Louis Cardinals and Albert Pujols is not all that surprising. The Cardinals offer of eight years and $200M ($25M per year on average) is merely a good opening point for the negotiations which Pujols’ agent will probably keep alive in the coming weeks and months well below the radar.
Pujols’ asking price (ten years and $300M) is too much because he will be 41 at the end of the deal likely making him ridiculously overpaid then, barring a Barry Bonds-like miracle. By the same token, his salary this year is $16M and it was less than $15M last year, so he has been grossly underpaid for the last couple of years. (FYI - $4M of this year’s $16M is a deferred payment at zero interest making his actual income for 2011 even less than it seems.)
Compounding the intricacy of this negotiation is the Yankees’ contract with Alex Rodriguez (ten years and $275M). The fact of the matter is that Albert Pujols is now a better player than A-Rod; indeed, Pujols is arguably the single best position player in all of baseball. His “average annual salary” ought not to be $2.5M less than A-Rod’s and that is what the Cardinals’ offer would create.
Here is a good compromise: six years at $192M. The Cards are not stuck with a 40- or 41-year-old player with a $30M price tag; Pujols gets an average of $32M per season and a chance to take another bite of the free-agency apple in his late 30s when he might be extremely valuable to a team needing a DH. With an average salary of $32M, Albert can beat his chest that he is making 15 percent more per year than A-Rod, as the number one compensated player in MLB.
WTF – OHLENDORF GETS A 460 PERCENT INCREASE AFTER A 1-11 SEASON!
Speaking of baseball salaries, the last few weeks showed what is fundamentally wrong with MLB’s arbitration system. The arbitrator, whose decision is final, can only select which of the two sets of contractual terms in front of him will apply for the upcoming season. He has the player's demand and the team’s offer and one of them must prevail, as the arbitrator cannot make his own determination of a player's worth.
Consider the case of Ross Ohlendorf, a starting pitcher for the Pittsburgh Pirates. Last year, Ohlendorf had a record of 1-11 in 21 starts. I know that the Pirates stunk last year, but Ohlendorf won 8% of his starts and the Pirates won about 35% of their games. Ohlendorf’s ERA in 2010 was 4.07, which is not so good, but it is better than his career average ERA of 4.40. He pitched 108.1 innings in 2011 in his 21 starts, so he not exactly an “innings eater”.
So Ohlendorf went into arbitration off a fairly unsuccessful 2010 season and you would believe that any raise he might get out of the process would be minimal. Well, if you believe that, then you believe that you can hear a fart in a tornado. How about these salary numbers for Ross:
Salary in 2010 = $439K
Salary in 2011 = $2.02M
That represents an increase of his salary by about 460% or a factor of 4.6 for the mathematically-challenged. The arbitrator made his call and that is the number for the upcoming season, which leads to the question: How bad would a player’s season have to be in order for him to have to take a pay cut in the arbitration process?
TRACK AND FIELD PHOTOGRAPHERS AT WORK!
ODDS AND ENDS:
1. Ohio State lost two basketball games last week. It has been 35 years since a college team went undefeated through the season and the NCAA tournament. I wonder if Bob Knight, Scott May, and Kent Benson were celebrating with champagne as the last undefeated collegiate team went down to defeat.
2. With the completion of the Carmelo Anthony trade to the Knicks, I wonder if Mike D’Antoni called the team together to let them know that anyone not named Amare Stoudamire needed to see the team secretary to pick up airline tickets. Carmelo fits the D’Antoni system well in that he does not expend a lot of his energy playing defense. In the trade, the Nuggets got four starters from what is basically a .500 team in the Eastern Conference. That does not make them much of a threat in the Western Conference and the Knicks got the best player from the seventh best team in the Western Conference. That doesn't sound like such a big deal.
3. A couple of weeks ago around Super Bowl time in the 2/3 Peanut Gallery, it was mentioned that six NFL teams have no cheerleaders of their own: the Bears, Packers, Lions, Steelers, Browns, and Giants. Why does the NFL need cheerleaders? If the league was being honest about the role of cheerleaders, they’d take away their pom-poms and install a runway, or some poles. How about sending the girls into the crowd for lap dances? How would you like to see your daughter dancing around half-naked on the sideline, surrounded by hormonal freaks whose last non-drunk moment came in the parking lot over two or three hours ago?
4. Forgetting the highly choreographed dunks in the NBA Dunk Contest is easy since none of them have anything whatsoever to do with playing real basketball. However, even with regard to the dunks that do not involve props, other players and/or multiple baskets, here is yet one more reason why the Dunk Contest is lame: if it takes a player three or four tries to get a dunk right in the Dunk Contest, he should not get a score.
CRIER’S CORNER
BASKETBALL ACTION
Yesterday’s Record ATS: 5-7
Cumulative Season Record ATS (excludes “pushes”): 396-263
Today’s Action (for reading purposes only):
NBA
CHICAGO* (+2) over MIAMI
The Bulls handled this team in January at the end of a 5-game road run for the Heat. It was only a three-point game and Miami didn’t have LeBron. Only one starter besides D. Wade’s 33 had double figures. There was a clear edge for the Bulls at the point as nobody could stop Derrick Rose, who had 34 and 8 dimes. CHICAGO, 105-95
COLLEGE HOOPS
CONNECTICUT* (-5.5) over MARQUETTE
No shock that UConn got drilled at the Ville (a Best Bet winner, on these pages), off quick Wednesday/Friday turnaround off an otherworldly performance by Kemba Walker at the XL Center. Marquette is fresh meat here . . . worn out playing with a short rotation in the Big East compression chamber, at a serious size disadvantage, and up against Jim Calhoun’s latest offensive discovery. CONNECTICUT, 74-63
UL-LAFAYETTE* (-1.5) over DENVER
The Pioneers were absolutely on fire at home (prior to Sunday loss vs. USA), but Lafayette’s been burning down houses home and away. Given Denver’s marked home/road performance dichotomy, we’ll bite. UL-LAFAYETTE, 68-59
PENN STATE (+4) over NORTHWESTERN*
Billy Carmody hasn’t beaten the Nits since the Fall of Rome. Talor Battle is rat poison to the ’Cats, and given where this season is heading for the Evanstonians, don’t expect any sudden reversal of fortune to the upside. PENN STATE, 73-62
PITTSBURGH* (-7.5) over WEST VIRGINIA
It’s no disgrace for Pitt to have gotten caught in the Steve Lavin Madison Square Garden mousetrap which has also snapped off Duke, etc, this season. West Virginia won’t find Pitt as recently-obliging as was Notre Dame. PITTSBURGH, 73-61
CAL POLY SLO (+9) over LONG BEACH STATE*
Poly put the marketmakers to sleep with their modest early-season form through the first part of January, and have proceeded to rip off a skein of consecutive covers for us ever since. Nice work! LONG BEACH STATE, 66-62
CAL IRVINE* (-3.5) over CAL DAVIS
If what they're saying is true, then the host Anteaters should get a huge boost with the return to action of Eric Wise, second-leading scorer and leading rebounder (13.7, 7.6). He has been sidelined for almost three weeks with a hamstring injury. Dude dropped 30+ on Cal Davis up north in an OT game. The winner of this game between lower-level Big West teams does itself a big favor in terms of becoming eligible for the Big West Tournament, which is held in Irvine's home area, so ya' think they'll get some calls? CAL IRVINE, 77-66
MIKE IN DA
HMW
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COMMENTS FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY
Written by: Mike in DA
Date posted: 2/24/2011
TRICK-SHOT GOALIE
FROM THE HMW MAILBAG:
Robnemar and Cliff both commented on Craig Shelton’s post of 2/14,"THE BLOCK IS HOT" & SO IS @979TheBox! - CRAIG SHE..." (http://sheltonmedia.blogspot.com/2011/02/maddhatta979-lesbiancraig-block-is-hot.html):
“This is a well stated point of view. I think music radio vs. sports radio is an interesting discussion. I think music is a much more effective way to bridge the gap because at the core of music radio, the music is what you hear. Sports talk radio is just that, you hear a lot of talk. So the radio hosts tend to make the shows about themselves more than they let sports actually dictate the direction of their respective shows. It is hard for them to get out of their own ways. But music is just so much different. It doesn't even matter the genre of the music or core demographic of the listeners. Music isn't personal. Talk radio is. With that said, I don't know how you go about bridging the gaps and bring forth understanding to the powers that be that we feel need to be enlightened. You can lead the fool to the well, but you can't force him to drink. Especially when the fool doesn't realize they are thirsty. No matter how much information you feed them, they never reason within themselves to think that they fall short in these socially charged and motivated circumstances and situations. Their experiences haven't taught them that they lack anything. So it is hard. Nevertheless, just because it is difficult doesn't mean that it shouldn't be done. The effort should always be made in order to try and bridge the gap. The thing is, we can only do it one person at a time. Hopefully, this person will reveal himself some day.” From Robmemar. END.
“I appreciate the attempt to compare the two since I like both music and sports, but the comparison comes up short. You are comparing an urban music station on an FM dial which has more youngsters and women who listen against a talk format on an AM dial that has more older men listening. I'm not sure why you would compare the two. You could compare The Box and The Buzz for a better head to head.” From Cliff. END.
TODD HELTON DOESN'T SEEM TO LIKE WORKING OUT IN SPRING TRAINING!
FLUB OF THE DAY
On Monday’s afternoon show (2/21) on SR 610, Rich Lord and Josh Innes were talking about horsebreeding involving a story about two thoroughbreds, Rachel Alexandra and Curlin, both former Eclipse Award winners as Horse of the Year. Obviously, from their conversation, these two fuckin' clowns don’t know the first thing about horse breeding and when that’s the case when they know little or nothing about a topic, they try to make a comedy routine out of it to cover their ignorance. It would have been nice if they did some research on this topic and informed their listeners, but that may have been too much work for them.
The Houston Chronicle continues to mess up high school records and stats. In Monday’s (2/21) Chronicle on page C5, the high school basketball rankings showed the wrong records for all the 4-A teams, such as Yates, Jones, Ball, Wheatley, etc.
On Channel 57’s (KUBE) Sunday night show, “High School Sports Zone”, there was a graphic showing the nominees for Boys High School Player of the Year that viewers are to vote on. One of the nominees shown was Demarcus Johnson of Jones HS. However, the graphic and host Todd Freed had Johnson playing for Yates. If he did, Yates would probably still be undefeated.
On Sunday’s (2/20) afternoon show with Brien Straw and Greg Koch, there were beaucoup flubs. Former NFL kicker, Jan Stenerud, was a phone guest. The guys who I’m sure did their “google research” on Jan before the show, asked him how he and his teammates felt about playing in the first Super Bowl against
After the interview, a listener texted in and Brien read it. The texter made a supposedly funny comment about Stenerud and incorrectly identified that Jan was from Denmark , but Brien didn’t pick up on it. Greg did and then Brien told the texter to “get it right”. This is the same Brien who on a previous Saturday (2/5) afternoon show was discussing former NFL placekicker, Morten Andersen, who played in the NFL from 1982-2007. Brien thought Morton was from Sweden or Norway . But just like many Chinese and Negroes who look alike, I guess many Scandinavian names sound alike. However, Morten’s nickname was “The Great Dane”, which I assume means he's from Denmark . Brien, practice what you preach and “get it right” yourself before telling others to.
On the same show, Brien brought up the name of John Rocker and mentioned the time that John commented to a Sports Illustrated writer about his experience in Queens , NY , on the New York City subway system on the #7 train. However, Brien called it the #9 train. FYI, the #9 train served the Bronx , NY, and it was discontinued at the end of 1966, and replaced by the #5 train.
Mike Meltser on his Monday morning show (2/21) on SR610 said that Isiah Thomas coaches Florida Atlantic University (FAU). The next day when I confronted him about it, he still said Thomas coached FAU. When I corrected him with Florida International University (FIU), he said that’s what he meant. That’s like someone saying that Bo Schembechler coached Ohio State . When confronted that Bo actually coached archrival Michigan , he replied, “That’s what I meant”.
Matt Thomas on his Sports Talk 790 show last Friday (2/18) when talking about the NFL Collective Bargaining Agreement negotiations referred to Art Rooney as owner of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Art actually passed away in 1988. And when it comes to math, Matt should brush up on his multiplication tables. On Monday’s show (2/21), when talking about the NFL might having to increase team rosters by four players each should they go to an 18-game season, he figured out that would add 112 more players. Miss Ford taught us that 4x32=128, not 112.
And though it is not a flub on Matt's part, a caller on Monday said that the Detroit Pistons opened the current season going 0-13. They actually lost just their first five games. Once again, a sports talk host accepting a questionable stat or statement from a caller without challenging him. At least, Matt was sharp enough to challenge a caller who during Super Bowl Week said that he saw a Super Bowl ticket going for around $700,000 on an Internet site (Stub Hub). And also give credit to Matt that he finally got wise to caller "Longhorn Doug" who is so full of shit on University of Texas inside info that Matt is thinking of putting Doug on a two-week no-call suspension.
JIM GRAY: ANOTHER ARROGANT AND OBNOXIOUS SPORTS TALK MOFO!
If you think some of our local sports talkers are unredeemable pieces of dreck, you haven't met Jim Gray. He has been working for the Golf Channel, which I take to be a good thing because that means I am highly unlikely to have to see or hear anything from this douche bag. Recently, Gray was removed from the Golf Channel coverage of a PGA event because Gray got into a shouting match with the caddy for one of the tournament participants. This leads me to ask a question: Is it not time to make Jim Gray into an non-person?
Gray is the guy who did the famous “ambush interview” for Pete Rose at the 1999 MLB All-Star Game. He also got into a shouting match with the US Ryder Cup Captain last year threatening that the captain was “going down” because Gray asserted he was a liar. Then there was the embarrassing lip-lock he put on LeBron James’ nether regions in that fawning interview on “The Decision”.
Like some of our sports talkers, would you as a sports fan feel less informed if Jim Gray never spoke into a live microphone again?
HEY DUDE, GET YOUR HEAD OUTTA MY ASS!
THAI GUYS AND GALS!
CRIER'S CORNER HALL OF FAME
In last Saturday’s post (2/19), it was mentioned that Art Schlichter, as well as Alex Karras and Paul Hornung, are members of the Crier’s Corner Hall of Fame.
For those not familiar with the Crier's Corner Hall of Fame, below is a list of the people inducted into the Hall by year. Each year two people and one gambling-related movie are selected:
Class of 2004:
Pete Rose
Carroll Rosenbloom
"The Sting" (1973)
Class of 2005:
Michael Jordan
Wilt Chamberlain
"House of Games" (1987)
Class of 2006
Art Schlichter
Phil Mickelson
"Casino" (1995)
Class of 2007:
Paul Hornung
Alex Karras
"The Hustler" (1961)
Class of 2008:
Ben Affleck
John Daley
"The Cooler" (2003)
Class of 2009:
Charles Barkley
Lenny Dykstra
"The Rounders" (1998)
Class of 2010:
Allen Iverson
Rick Tocchet
"The Gambler" (1974)
Class of 2011:
Tim Donaghy
Antoine Walker
"Bugsy" (1991)
MIGUEL CABRERA'S SMILING MUG SHOT FOLLOWING LAST WEEK'S DUI ARREST:
ANOTHER HALL OF SHAME YOU PROBABLY NEVER KNEW EXISTED!
The Peanut Gallery’s Bizarro Sports Endorsement Hall of Shame Class of 2011 was announced last week. The three inductees for the Class of 2011 are:
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: In one of his books he credits his NBA longevity of 20 years to wearing low-cut sneakers, claiming that high-tops transfer shock to the knees. He then did TV ads for Reebok high-tops. In the same book, he claimed to avoid drinking alcohol. He wrote drinking not only violates Islam, it destroys families. He then did a TV commercial for Coors.
ESPN’s Chris Berman: He has been a simultaneous endorser of Nutrisystem weight loss products and fried meat and cheese platters at Applebee’s.
Dan Dierdorf: He simultaneously endorsed weight loss products and Lay's Potato Chips.
FOLLOW THE BOUNCY BALLS!
COOLEST SPORTS NICKNAMES: “TIGER”
Today’s sports nicknames are terrible, such as Gonzo, Grandy, Junior, I-Rod, and Little O. They are mostly nothing more than a combination of a player’s first and last name. But nicknames haven’t always been so bad.
Here is another cool one from the past though he is still active: “Tiger”.
Almost three decades ago, Eldrick Woods was given the “Tiger” nickname by his father, Earl, in honor of a fellow South Vietnamese soldier. Earl was a U.S. Army Ranger infantry officer who served two tours of duty in Vietnam working with the ARVN (Army of the Republic of Vietnam for the acronym-challenged) and retired with the rank of lieutenant colonel. His friend’s name was Col. Vuong Dang “Tiger” Phong. Eldrick became generally known by that name and by the time he had achieved national prominence in junior and amateur golf, he was simply known as “Tiger” Woods.
However, after his marital infidelities and winless turbulent season last year, here are some suggestions for a second nickname that might be more appropriate for Tiger: Cheetah, Mr. Wood, Tee-Baller, Putt-putt, Mr. Sandtrapped, Mr. Bogey, Mr. Banana Ball, Mr. Florida Scramble, Elin's Caddie, Mr. Shank, Mr. “Just Did It”, and Scumbag.
DO THE PEOPLE OF ALASKA AND VERMONT KNOW THEIR BASEBALL?
PUJOLS MOST LIKELY WILL STAY A CARDINAL!
As predicted here several weeks ago, the lack of a deal between the St. Louis Cardinals and Albert Pujols is not all that surprising. The Cardinals offer of eight years and $200M ($25M per year on average) is merely a good opening point for the negotiations which Pujols’ agent will probably keep alive in the coming weeks and months well below the radar.
Pujols’ asking price (ten years and $300M) is too much because he will be 41 at the end of the deal likely making him ridiculously overpaid then, barring a Barry Bonds-like miracle. By the same token, his salary this year is $16M and it was less than $15M last year, so he has been grossly underpaid for the last couple of years. (FYI - $4M of this year’s $16M is a deferred payment at zero interest making his actual income for 2011 even less than it seems.)
Compounding the intricacy of this negotiation is the Yankees’ contract with Alex Rodriguez (ten years and $275M). The fact of the matter is that Albert Pujols is now a better player than A-Rod; indeed, Pujols is arguably the single best position player in all of baseball. His “average annual salary” ought not to be $2.5M less than A-Rod’s and that is what the Cardinals’ offer would create.
Here is a good compromise: six years at $192M. The Cards are not stuck with a 40- or 41-year-old player with a $30M price tag; Pujols gets an average of $32M per season and a chance to take another bite of the free-agency apple in his late 30s when he might be extremely valuable to a team needing a DH. With an average salary of $32M, Albert can beat his chest that he is making 15 percent more per year than A-Rod, as the number one compensated player in MLB.
WTF – OHLENDORF GETS A 460 PERCENT INCREASE AFTER A 1-11 SEASON!
Speaking of baseball salaries, the last few weeks showed what is fundamentally wrong with MLB’s arbitration system. The arbitrator, whose decision is final, can only select which of the two sets of contractual terms in front of him will apply for the upcoming season. He has the player's demand and the team’s offer and one of them must prevail, as the arbitrator cannot make his own determination of a player's worth.
Consider the case of Ross Ohlendorf, a starting pitcher for the Pittsburgh Pirates. Last year, Ohlendorf had a record of 1-11 in 21 starts. I know that the Pirates stunk last year, but Ohlendorf won 8% of his starts and the Pirates won about 35% of their games. Ohlendorf’s ERA in 2010 was 4.07, which is not so good, but it is better than his career average ERA of 4.40. He pitched 108.1 innings in 2011 in his 21 starts, so he not exactly an “innings eater”.
So Ohlendorf went into arbitration off a fairly unsuccessful 2010 season and you would believe that any raise he might get out of the process would be minimal. Well, if you believe that, then you believe that you can hear a fart in a tornado. How about these salary numbers for Ross:
Salary in 2010 = $439K
Salary in 2011 = $2.02M
That represents an increase of his salary by about 460% or a factor of 4.6 for the mathematically-challenged. The arbitrator made his call and that is the number for the upcoming season, which leads to the question: How bad would a player’s season have to be in order for him to have to take a pay cut in the arbitration process?
TRACK AND FIELD PHOTOGRAPHERS AT WORK!
ODDS AND ENDS:
1. Ohio State lost two basketball games last week. It has been 35 years since a college team went undefeated through the season and the NCAA tournament. I wonder if Bob Knight, Scott May, and Kent Benson were celebrating with champagne as the last undefeated collegiate team went down to defeat.
2. With the completion of the Carmelo Anthony trade to the Knicks, I wonder if Mike D’Antoni called the team together to let them know that anyone not named Amare Stoudamire needed to see the team secretary to pick up airline tickets. Carmelo fits the D’Antoni system well in that he does not expend a lot of his energy playing defense. In the trade, the Nuggets got four starters from what is basically a .500 team in the Eastern Conference. That does not make them much of a threat in the Western Conference and the Knicks got the best player from the seventh best team in the Western Conference. That doesn't sound like such a big deal.
3. A couple of weeks ago around Super Bowl time in the 2/3 Peanut Gallery, it was mentioned that six NFL teams have no cheerleaders of their own: the Bears, Packers, Lions, Steelers, Browns, and Giants. Why does the NFL need cheerleaders? If the league was being honest about the role of cheerleaders, they’d take away their pom-poms and install a runway, or some poles. How about sending the girls into the crowd for lap dances? How would you like to see your daughter dancing around half-naked on the sideline, surrounded by hormonal freaks whose last non-drunk moment came in the parking lot over two or three hours ago?
4. Forgetting the highly choreographed dunks in the NBA Dunk Contest is easy since none of them have anything whatsoever to do with playing real basketball. However, even with regard to the dunks that do not involve props, other players and/or multiple baskets, here is yet one more reason why the Dunk Contest is lame: if it takes a player three or four tries to get a dunk right in the Dunk Contest, he should not get a score.
CRIER’S CORNER
BASKETBALL ACTION
Yesterday’s Record ATS: 5-7
Cumulative Season Record ATS (excludes “pushes”): 396-263
Today’s Action (for reading purposes only):
NBA
CHICAGO* (+2) over MIAMI
The Bulls handled this team in January at the end of a 5-game road run for the Heat. It was only a three-point game and Miami didn’t have LeBron. Only one starter besides D. Wade’s 33 had double figures. There was a clear edge for the Bulls at the point as nobody could stop Derrick Rose, who had 34 and 8 dimes. CHICAGO, 105-95
COLLEGE HOOPS
CONNECTICUT* (-5.5) over MARQUETTE
No shock that UConn got drilled at the Ville (a Best Bet winner, on these pages), off quick Wednesday/Friday turnaround off an otherworldly performance by Kemba Walker at the XL Center. Marquette is fresh meat here . . . worn out playing with a short rotation in the Big East compression chamber, at a serious size disadvantage, and up against Jim Calhoun’s latest offensive discovery. CONNECTICUT, 74-63
UL-LAFAYETTE* (-1.5) over DENVER
The Pioneers were absolutely on fire at home (prior to Sunday loss vs. USA), but Lafayette’s been burning down houses home and away. Given Denver’s marked home/road performance dichotomy, we’ll bite. UL-LAFAYETTE, 68-59
PENN STATE (+4) over NORTHWESTERN*
Billy Carmody hasn’t beaten the Nits since the Fall of Rome. Talor Battle is rat poison to the ’Cats, and given where this season is heading for the Evanstonians, don’t expect any sudden reversal of fortune to the upside. PENN STATE, 73-62
PITTSBURGH* (-7.5) over WEST VIRGINIA
It’s no disgrace for Pitt to have gotten caught in the Steve Lavin Madison Square Garden mousetrap which has also snapped off Duke, etc, this season. West Virginia won’t find Pitt as recently-obliging as was Notre Dame. PITTSBURGH, 73-61
CAL POLY SLO (+9) over LONG BEACH STATE*
Poly put the marketmakers to sleep with their modest early-season form through the first part of January, and have proceeded to rip off a skein of consecutive covers for us ever since. Nice work! LONG BEACH STATE, 66-62
CAL IRVINE* (-3.5) over CAL DAVIS
If what they're saying is true, then the host Anteaters should get a huge boost with the return to action of Eric Wise, second-leading scorer and leading rebounder (13.7, 7.6). He has been sidelined for almost three weeks with a hamstring injury. Dude dropped 30+ on Cal Davis up north in an OT game. The winner of this game between lower-level Big West teams does itself a big favor in terms of becoming eligible for the Big West Tournament, which is held in Irvine's home area, so ya' think they'll get some calls? CAL IRVINE, 77-66
MIKE IN DA
HMW
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