THE MOST ANNOYING TYPES OF SPORTS TALK CALLERS! Written by: Mike in DADate posted: 11/8/2010Everybody has their opinions on sports and it's great that sports talk radio gives people a sounding board to share their thoughts with the rest of the sports talk listening public. Well actually, it isn't that great. Come to think of it, it sometimes sucks. Over half of the callers seem to annoy me. I know that over the years, I’ve annoyed many listeners myself when I called in to the many various shows, but I did serve a purpose by bringing sports knowledge and information with me, something that is in short supply on many local sports talk shows these days.
Take it from me and I’m sure there are some out there who agree with me, when calling into a sports talk radio station, don't be any of these guys:
How about the guy that says "thanks for taking my call". Like the hosts have a choice.
How about the guy who acts like he's calling into the “Jim Rome Show” and auditioning for the “huge call of the day”. "War this, war that, I’m out!" What the hell does “war Raiders” mean anyway? Talk about “douchebags”, this guy’s picture belongs in Webster’s Dictionary right next to that term.
How about the guy who asks the hosts how they are doing and then waits for an answer before going on. Hey, the hosts just answered how they're doing on the previous call or maybe the one two calls ago. Nothing has measurably changed over the last five minutes or so. They're okay or fine or whatever and besides who really cares.
How about the guy who forgot to turn his radio down when he calls in and the host has to tell him to turn it down.
And speaking of the above guy, how about the guy who is listening through the radio, not aware that the show is on a seven-second delay, and when the hosts go to him, there is silence from the caller, but you can hear the radio on in the background. 
How about the "love your show, long time listener, first time caller" guy. What he means to say is: "You guys are my heroes. I have wanted to talk to you guys forever, but I couldn't build up enough confidence to call in. Today, I grew a pair of balls and became a man." As mentioned here many times before, sports talk radio hosts have some of the biggest egos around and for really no reason. They're sports fans just like us, but somebody gave them a shot to discuss sports for a living, which somehow raises their level of knowledge above the rest of us. There’s no need to inflate their egos anymore.
How about the "I met you about a year ago at Maggiano’s and you were really cool and we talked about the Texans" guy. Hey, nobody really cares about your small talk with the radio host.
How about the "hey guys, I'm just leaving the game" guy. So big deal! Because you went to the game, are you more qualified to speak on how good or bad the team played because you paid $20 for a ticket? How about the guy who went to a game yesterday or last week? Does that mean he can’t speak for today’s game? And what about the guy who watched today’s game on TV, does that mean he’s clueless as to how the team played?
How about the guy who calls in during a fantasy football segment. Each caller is exactly the same. “Should I play Orton or Romo this week?" This is always followed by pointless reasoning by the "expert" on why you absolutely should take one over the other. I don’t play fantasy football, but I thought the point of it was so that you, the owner, can manage the team yourself. If you just wanted to let someone else manage your team, why not save the entry fee and just not play.
How about the guy that calls in just to say that he agrees with the host’s opinion on a certain topic. Isn’t that a waste of time and cell phone minutes. This guy is probably the "Yes Man" in the office, too. I wonder if he interrupts the pastor’s or rabbi’s sermon to tell everyone that he agrees with what is being said. I don’t think so, so just agree to yourself next time.
How about the "here's what I have to say and I'll hang up and listen" guy. I don’t expect him to hang up and change to another station. That would be crazy, right.
How about the “remember me guy. ‘Hey I called you five or six months ago. I was the guy who told you the Texans (or Astros, Rockets) wouldn’t make the playoffs." Sports talk hosts often don’t even remember what people told them an hour ago, so how do you expect them to remember something you said at the beginning of the season?
How about the "I've coached Pop Warner or high school football for 15 years" guy. Wow, you mean to tell me that you told the fat kids to block for the fast kid and made sure the stiffs stayed on the bench? You must be a fuckin’ genius. You're probably going to tell me that the Texans need to get Arian Foster the ball more or that Peyton Manning is a pretty good QB. I'm glad you called in, I'd be lost without your terrific insight.
How about the guy who says "The previous caller just stole my thunder". We know you waited on-hold to talk, but if they said the same thing as you, why didn’t you just hang up. And if the previous guy stole your thunder, why don’t you then bring lightning instead to outdo him.
How about the “conspiracy theory" guy who says that the playoffs are fixed, so that the teams and networks can make more money.
How about the “hypothetical trade caller” who likes to call up with suggestions for ridiculous trades that will never happen and are completely one-sided in favor of the caller’s favorite team. “Hey guys, I figured out a way for the Astros to shore up their starting rotation. We trade Tim Byrdak, Wilton Lopez, and Nelson Figueroa and a couple of minor leaguers to the San Francisco Giants for Tim Lincecum. Whaddya think of that?” Yeah… the Giants are going to trade a Cy Young award winner for a bunch of scrubs and minor leaguers. That sounds dumber than the proposal to get Ken Griffey Jr. and Barry Bonds in the same outfield. How about the senior citizen caller like me who references old-time players that no one has ever heard of.And speaking of the above senior citizen, how about the "back in my day" guy who is an old guy who calls up and complains about how everyone playing today is a bunch of pussies and how they couldn’t hold a candle to any of the guys who played when he was a kid. “You know, these guys today are terrible, with the steroids and their big contracts. Back in my day sonny, Babe Ruth had a diet of hot dogs and beer. Mickey Mantle had a torn cartilage in his knee and a bum shoulder and he still played. These guys today, they get a cold and they take the day off.” You’re an old, bitter man. BREAKING NEWS! The guys playing today are much better than the players 50 years ago. Athletes are stronger and have more knowledge of the game. Sports are global now and professional sports take athletes from a worldwide pool. Back in your day there were no minorities or foreign athletes in the game. There were no year-round training programs, etc.
How about the lady caller who gets to jump to the head of the line while I’ve been on hold for 30 minutes and she doesn't really say anything new, but gets props from the host because ladies rarely call in.
How about the "I've been a fan of the (insert team) for (insert number) years guy.” No shit, you've been a fan for 30 years, I cede to your knowledge then.
How about “the normally I agree with you, but I disagree with what you're saying here" guy. Stop trying to be the host's friend. He doesn't give a fuck about you and he probably doesn't care what you have to say. The more you talk, the more time he has to look at the internet or eat his sandwich or drink his water or soda.
How about “die-hard fan” guy. This guy calls in and the first thing he says is that he is a die-hard fan of their favorite team and that they’ve been rooting for that team for however many years. It's like they are on an interview and they have to prove they are worthy of calling. “First off…Let me just say I’m a die-hard Astros fan. I’ve been rooting for them since 1965." How about the guy with the crying kid or barking dog in the background.
How about “trade away the best player after a few bad games” guy. This guy calls up and wants to trade away the star player because he had he had a mini-slump. How about the guy who doesn’t have a fuckin’ clue. They only listen to sports talk radio so that they can carry on a conversation at the office. They usually don't even watch sports, and that's fine, just don't show it when you call in.
How about the guy on a cell phone who zones out and has to be asked several times if he's there when they take his call. Then there's the guy who sounds like he’s calling from Outer Mongolia, that has a terrible reception, and sounds like a broken McDonald’s drive thru speaker.
How about the guy who calls in and references something that the show talked about last week. The hosts then have to get him back on track.
How about the caller who likes to make up stuff in an effort to make himself feel better, or prove a point that can't be proved.
How about the caller who calls in and can’t remember the names of athletes he’s referring to.
How about the guy who calls in when a topic has been beaten to death for about two hours such as who will the Texans draft and says, "I'd like to get your take on who the Texans might draft." How about the guy who calls in to ask the hosts to look up a certain stat(s) or give certain information. That's why we all have access to a computer and google. And besides, unless it is a real simple piece of info that is requested, don't expect a lazy host to look it up.How about the ”we and us” guy who refers to his favorite team as “we” and “us” as though he actually plays on the team or coaches it.I’m sure I missed some of the various types of annoying callers. If you can think of any annoying caller types that I may have missed, just leave them in the “Comments” section or e-mail your comments to crierscorner@aol.com and I’ll mention them in a future Peanut Gallery.In summary, although the purpose of sports talk radio is to have interaction with the listening community (phone calls, e-mails, texts, etc.), sometimes you have to wonder why anyone would listen to the call-in portion of many sports talk radio shows unless they wanted to be entertained by a large number of morons that call in.
I’m sure there are talk show hosts that might complain behind the scenes about the quality of their callers? However, if they did their job and hosted the show as a true host should, they wouldn’t need callers to fill the time because they’re not clever or smart enough to do it themselves to earn their pay check.
In that case, I suggest they listen to “Mike and Mike in the Morning” on ESPN Radio to get an idea how to do it.
MIKE IN DAHMW
Email: houstonmediawatch@yahoo.comBlog: http://www.houstonmediawatch.com/Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/lesbiancraigFacebook Search: HMW Shelton 
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