BE STRONG SEATTLE FAN BY LM

5-17-2011

BE STRONG SEATTLE FAN

This piece was inspired by my dude @TheGuruStu a Seattle citizen. Say Bro, as a fan that witnessed a less than superior take my team and go to the playoffs recently after the departure, I'm here to say, I KNOW YOUR PAIN.

No one likes to be called a hater but by default in a situation like this, you become one at no choice of your own.  I am here to help you through this process.  The similarities and bond between Seattle and Houston is almost freaky.  For example, we have the Oilers v Buffalo game we were suppose to win and well you know the result.  Seattle Sonics on the other hand 1994 vs Denver Nuggets.  They were suppose to beat Nuggets but Mutumbo had other plans.  A little secret @TheGuruStu, the whole city of Houston let out a collective sigh of relief when Seattle lost to Denver.

Here is Seattle fan 10 Step Plan

1. Hate your former team. It is your right to wish every member on that team to supper a 3rd World Herpe.  

2.  Remove your former love of the team, at this point they are the enemy.

3.  Vow to never contribute one single dollar to the State of Oklahoma's economy.  Say for Example you are in Nebraska and you want to drive to Houston, completely Bypass OK by way of Colorado or Arkansas.  Sure it may take 5 hours out of your drive but that's the sacrifice you have to make.

4.  At each point of the playoffs, drop about 4 Muthaf***, 5 Sons of Bastids, and 8 A**Holes.

5. Cry after each win.  Trust me we are all men and crying don't suppose to be a make up of our DNA but it's therapeutic.

6.  Instantly become a fan of the person they are playing.  Yo Bro, during the music city miracle, I was the biggest Buffalo fan ever and I got "The Greatest Show On Turf" tatted on my neck.

7. Although this was not available when the Oilers were traded but now you can post on message boards, local information about the team that others may not know.  If you seen Durant at a local bar club in Seattle last night, send that crap to the media, anything possible to throw your enemy off their game.  When a fan is scorned from their local team leaving to a city that don't make sense, you have to remove all barriers.

The Next Three Are the most important

8.  Talk to people that are interested in the match-up of your former team and the opponent. You must act as if none of this is effecting you.  It's at this point you have to suppressed all of your child hood disappointments of this squad.  You have to remain objective in your sport's conversation.

9.  Accept the fact that your former team will beat the Dallas Mavericks, it will happen.  All of my basketball knowledge tells me Dallas will murder the Thunder however, weird as phenoms will have the Thunder winning.  Yes you got it, the Thunder will win.  Again I will say, none of my basketball IQ would lead me to believe the Thunder can beat the Mavericks but this is cosmic forces of nature that are in play.  This is similar to a young America storming the beaches of Normandy with utter defeat faced before them but somehow, they got the job done.

10.  Tell people you are not going to watch the game that determines your former team being a dud or stud. However at this point you are all in.  The gauntlet has been laid as you watch your former with one second remaining to win a game and bank it off the rim.  Suddenly you have a jolt of energy saying, I'm glad them mofos are no longer here, I'm about to go drink me a beer.   

WRAP IT UP

Trust me, the moment of your former team losing at whatever stage it may come will be equated to your city winning 6 consecutive Super Bowls.   FACT