Tuesday, April 12, 2011

JOSH INNES IS AN IDIOT: HOUSTON IS A SEXY CITY

4-12-2011



JOSH INNES IS AN IDIOT

I have been listening to Josh Innes for almost 2 years now and I'm hear to tell you, he is an "IDIOT" (it's best to be called an idiot by HMW, means we cool).  Straight from Missouri this carpetbagger comes to our great city of Houston and try to convince us we are not sexy, well in the next series of articles, I will prove this IDIOT wrong.  For some reason he thinks because he lived in one of the historical baseball towns (St. Louis) in addition to living in Baton Rouge during the Saints and LSUs "hay day", he can come into our town and tell us we are Big and Boring.  Lets ignore the fact that most of us probably agree with him, this is about "REPRESENTING HTOWN".  I challenge Josh "Mr. Entertainment" Innes to go down a 15 year road in Houston w/me.  I will show you relevance buddy.

CASE 1:  1994 FINALS - OJ SIMPSON CAR CHASE

June 1994, I am looking at Billy Ocean aka Charles Oakley rough up the Rockets as Hakeem Olajuwon handled Patrick Ewing on the floor.  I remember it like it was yesterday, my mother asked me to put some more foil in the windows because it was hot and all of a sudden, BOOM; a white Bronco driving in Los Angeles on HWY 5 or I10 who knows.  All I can remember about that evening was "the Chase" on the big screen and the Rockets game was in the corner to the right on the little screen.  Orange Juice was driving down the highway with people on the overpass with signs cheering him on.  Without the Rockets' Final, that car chase wouldn't have gotten any run.  By the way, why didn't the driver of the Bronco get charged for running from the police?

CASE 2: 2001 ENRON COLLAPSE

On a lukecold October day fresh off the Andrea Yates and 911 traumas which garnered major national attention for Andrea Yates living in Clear Lake and President Bush partying up and down Richmond Strip as a "youth", we learned of Worldcom and Enron and a whole slew of others scamming stockholders.  Hello Josh, maybe you were in the 3rd grade but that was pretty damn sexy.  All of the national media was in Houston.  A couple of my close friends were effected by Enron and some of them were even on television talking about how much they almost loss money because they were only custodians and window cleaners.

CASE 3: 2004 JANET JACKSON "BOOB-GATE"
It was a slow dry dull game in my opinion up till half time.  Lets forget the point of "Why was Janet Jackson a part of the Half Time Show ANWYAY" because during that period she was irrelevant but she quickly shocked the whole world of broadcasting.  Janet is singing a song with Justin Timberlake and out of no where a breast come flying through my screen.  The worse part of the ordeal, DVR Technology was not as popular as TIVO therefore I couldn't rewind to see if saw what I just thought a seen.  Josh, do you know where that happened?  That event is pretty damn sexy considering her action basically transformed the way TV and Radio have to broadcast.  Janet Jackson's breast changed your day to day standard operations at your job.

CASE 4: 2005 - 2007 HURRICANE GATE
This is personal to me because one of these hurricanes blew my home away.  In 2005, I woke up to see the news giving the "all clear" in New Orleans, the hurricane the locals had been warned about didn't afflict as much damage as they thought therefore I went back to sleep and woke again to total calamity.  Apparently a levy broke and flooded New Orleans.  Caravans of New Orleans residents made their way to Houston and we gladly accepted them (they our peoples).  Of all the cities in America, Houston housed the most people from Katrina, I think that's worthy of your respect.


The Hurricane that violated my home "prison style" was Ike.  I get the shakes thinking about it.

CASE 5: 2009 JOSH ARRIVAL IN HOUSTON
If Houston is not sexy why are you here?

CASE 6: 2011 SORRIEST GAME OF THE CENTURY
Our city is unique in the fact it hosted the Game Of the Century (UH v UCLA) in the Astrodome and this year the Sorriest Game Of the Century Butler v UCONN in Reliant.  How many cities can claim that on their resume'?

WRAP IT UP
OK, after chronicling the last 15 years of events in Houston, lol maybe Josh has a point.  On the real, Josh believes players are neglecting Houston because it's not a sexy town ie the reason your Miamis, LAs, and NYCs are being chosen over Houston.  This may appear true and the popular thing to say but in a coming article, I will debate that premise.

OUT
















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