CHARLES BARKLEY TNT QUOTES - MIKE IN DA



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Written by: Mike in DA
Date posted: 3/12/2011

CROTCH GRABBING - ECUADORIAN STYLE

Dario Rodriguez

CHARLES BARKLEY TNT QUOTES

In the 2/3 Peanut Gallery, it was mentioned that there's probably a file somewhere in Atlanta filled with a bunch of TNT statements apologizing for Charles Barkley's lack of judgment following one of his insulting rants.

If that is so, then here are some of his statements that may have made their way into this file:


Ernie Johnson: "Did they recognize you in South Dakota?"

Charles: "Yes, they did. It was easy because I was the only black person there. When they see me walking down the street they say 'There he goes again'. And when I come back the next year they say 'He's back yawl!'"

On Jerry Krause still being able to keep his job as GM of the Chicago Bulls: "Jerry Krause must have pictures of his boss's wife having sex with a monkey."


"I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating. I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character."


"Yeah Ernie, it’s called defense, I mean I wouldn't know anything about it personally, but I've heard about it through the grapevine.”

Charles after seeing a picture of Sam Cassell on the screen: "Phone home!" And later he remarks to Kenny Smith, "Sam Cassell is a good guy, but he's not going to wind up on the cover of GQ anytime soon."

On North Carolina missing 22 of its last 23 shots in losing to Georgetown in the NCAA Tournament: "Stevie Wonder could make one of 23 shots."


Kenny: "There's guys who go over to Europe and play overseas from America, and they dominate!"
Charles: "Those are called brothers."


Ernie: "Auburn is a pretty good school. To graduate from there I suppose you really need to work hard and put forth maximum effort."

Charles: "20 pts and 10 rebounds will get you through also!"


"It's kinda great to see the Celtics doin' well again cuz that was so much fun in my day to go to the Boston Garden and they spit at you and throw things at you and talk about your mom. It sounds like dinner at Kenny Smith's house."







Ernie Johnson, on Reggie Evans being caught grabbing the balls of Chris Kaman: "Reggie Evans got caught with his hand in the cookie jar."

Charles: "Ernie, I don't know where you get your cookies at, but the rest of us don't get ours there."

After Wang ZhiZhi had a shot blocked: "He's got to bring something stronger than that. That's like bringing milk to a bar, it's not strong enough"

"I know why his name is DMX. Because his real name is Earl. Imagine if his name was Earl the Rapper."


"We better not be doing the Bulls this year. Man, they suck! Bunch of high school kids with $70 million contracts. Damn! I hate my mother for having me too soon."

"All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine."

"When I was recruited at Auburn, they took me to a strip joint. When I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements."


Barkley on Hanno Mottola, who, as Ernie remarked "is the first NBA player from Finland". Charles replied: "Of course he is the first NBA player from Finland, he's the only person in Finland."

Barkley on Ernie Johnson and Kenny Smith eating a box of hot Krispy Kreme donuts in front of him: "Both of y'all are going to hell for that. Y'all are going to hell with a first-class ticket. Is that how you treat your partner? Krispy Kreme might be the greatest invention in the history of civilization when they're hot. Y'all are cruel man."


"Dick Bavetta and Moses parted the Red Sea together."

Ernie: "Did you graduate from Auburn?"
Charles: "No, but I have a couple people working for me who did."

"I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I'd work for the Klan."


On the Portland Trail Blazers (back when they were known as the Jail Blazers) serving Thanksgiving meals: "In between arrests they do community service."

Before being hired by TNT, "I'm just what America needs - another unemployed black man.”


On his 17-year old daughter not dating yet: "Thank goodness. I just hope she doesn't start before I go in the Hall of Fame. That way, I won't have to kill anybody before I get inducted."


To Kenny Smith: "Hakeem couldn't kick your ass cuz you were too close, kissin his!"

"I had to explain to my daughter why that skank Monica Lewinsky has an hour special on HBO this weekend."


Right after Peja Stojakovic won a 3-point contest: "Kenny said it was going to be an all-international night. I want to know which international brother is going to win the slam dunk contest."


On the All-Star Game: "Hell, there ain't but 15 black millionaires in the whole country & half of 'em are right here in this room."


Charles on his thoughts about retiring: "I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going to retire.' They said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'You got a pen on you?'"

"Well, when I went off to college, the guys I used to hang with were pumping gas and voting Democrat. Today they're still pumping gas and voting Democrat. Guess the Democrats didn't do much for them."

On the Enron scandal investigation: "Almost all those politicians took money from Enron, and there they are holding hearings. That's like O.J. Simpson getting in the Rae Carruth jury pool."

While telling of watching someone in Australia put $1 million worth of rubies on a table: "Damn, must not be any black folks in Australia. You can't just leave $1 million worth of jewelry lying around the 'hood."

After Kevin Garnett threw a ball into the crowd out of frustration and was ejected, they showed footage of the man that got hit by the ball being taken away in a stretcher and his daughter was crying. Charles commented that players take passes to the face all the time. He topped it off by saying: "You know why that little girl's crying? It's because she's thinking 'my daddy's a wussy'".


Charles on the Turner Sports Department having a betting pool on his weight: "That is starting to hurt my feelings. I don't mind skinny people making fun of me, we all do that, but I don't want fat people making fun of me."

"Man, everything gets blamed on the Clintons, every single thing in this world. I think Bill Clinton shot JFK, too."


"If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly. If they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick. Same thing."

Asked if he had ever been in the governor's office in Montgomery, AL, Barkley said: "No. They don't let many black people in the governor's mansion in Alabama unless they're cleaning."









6'3" GUY DUPUY SHOWS BLAKE GRIFFIN HOW IT'S DONE IN POLAND!




CRIER’S CORNER

BASKETBALL ACTION

The Crier continues on a roll, as it is now 14 consecutive non-losing days:

Date: W-L
2/26: 12-3
2/27: 5-1
2/28: 1-1
3/1: 6-2
3/2: 6-3
3/3: 4-1
3/4: 5-4
3/5: 10-5
3/6: 3-2
3/7: 2-2
3/8: 8-3
3/9: 7-4
3/10: 11-4
3/11: 9-6
Total: 89-41 (68.5%)



It's like taking candy from a baby!

Yesterday’s Record ATS: 9-6

W - NEW JERSEY (+2.5) over LA CLIPPERS
L - INDIANA (+1) over TORONTO*
L - SAN ANTONIO* (-11) over SACRAMENTO


BIG EAST CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT (at Madison Square Garden, New York, NY)
L - SYRACUSE (-1) over CONNECTICUT


ATLANTIC-10 CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT (at Boardwalk Hall, Atlantic City, NJ)
W - DAYTON (+7) over XAVIER
W - TEMPLE (-10.5) over LASALLE


BIG XII CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT (at Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri)
L - KANSAS (-11) over COLORADO


WESTERN ATHLETIC CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT (at Orleans Arena, Las Vegas, NV)
L - UTAH STATE (-11.5) over SAN JOSE STATE


MOUNTAIN WEST CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT (at Thomas & Mack Arena, Las Vegas, NV)
W - SAN DIEGO STATE (+1) over UNLV


PAC-10 CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT (at Staples Center, Los Angeles, CA)
W - ARIZONA (-1) over USC


ATLANTIC COAST CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT ( at Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, NC)
W - MIAMI FL (+8) over NORTH CAROLINA


SOUTHEASTERN CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT (at Georgia Dome, Atlanta, GA)
L - GEORGIA (+1.5) over ALABAMA
W - FLORIDA (-1.5) over TENNESSEE


BIG TEN CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT (at Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, IN)
W - NORTHWESTERN (+9.5) over OHIO STATE
W - MICHIGAN (+3) over ILLINOIS

Cumulative Season Record ATS (excludes “pushes”): 492-308

Today’s Action (for reading purposes only):

NBA

ATLANTA* (-1) over PORTLAND
This is the last game of the trip for the Blazers and the Hawks will benefit by getting rid of Mike Bibby, who never played defense, but only got worse on D with age. The Hawks handled this team in late February mainly because they won the battle of the glass by 15. ATLANTA, 101-94


NEW ORLEANS* (-6) over SACRAMENTO
The Kings are still tinkering with their starting line-up, and they had to suit up against the Spurs just 48 hours ago. The Kings beat the Hornets in January in the second of a back-to-back after just beating the Lakers by basically shutting them down from long-range. NEW ORLEANS, 106-90

UTAH at CHICAGO* (TOTAL OVER 188.5)
So many forwards are out or nursing injuries for this game that it will open up the floor for the guards to run and gun and drive and have some fun. Utah is at the tail end of a long road trip in the second of back-to-backs and won’t come in with any kind of defensive plan under their confused new head coach. That leaves Devin Harris to pick up the chase once they fall behind to Chicago’s Noah-to-Rose go-go-go. The Bulls are also playing second of back-to-backs, but both home, and they played a low-possession game last night against Atlanta, which also featured Atlanta missing a lot of shots and scoring in the 70s. What went down must come up. CHICAGO, 105-95

DENVER* (-9) over DETROIT
Playing at Mile High is never easy and for the Pistons, nothing has been easy all season. This is the third game of a tough trip and they had to fly from Oklahoma City last night. The Pistons have been horrible on the road this year winning only 7 of their first 31 away contests. DENVER, 114-95

COLLEGE HOOPS

PRINCETON (+2) over HARVARD (at NEW HAVEN, CT)

CONFERENCE USA TOURNAMENT (at Don Haskins Center, El Paso, TX)
MEMPHIS (+5) over UTEP*


SOUTHEASTERN CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT (at Georgia Dome, Atlanta, GA)
KENTUCKY (-6.5) over ALABAMA
FLORIDA (-3) over VANDERBILT


ATLANTIC-10 CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT (at Boardwalk Hall, Atlantic City, NJ)
DAYTON (-6) over ST. JOSEPH’S

BIG TEN CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT (at Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, IN)
PENN STATE (+3) over MICHIGAN STATE

MID-AMERICAN CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT (at Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, OH)
KENT STATE (-1) over AKRON


BIG EAST CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT (at Madison Square Garden, New York, NY)
LOUISVILLE (-2) over CONNECTICUT





MIKE IN DA

HMW

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