COMMENTS FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY (X-RATED) - MIKE IN DA - MARCH 10, 2011

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 COMMENTS FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY (X-RATED)

Written by: Mike in DA
Date posted: 3/10/2011


"HELP WANTED" AD THAT PROBABLY ATTRACTED BRIEN STRAW, A.J. HOFFMAN, AND MIKE MELTSER TO HOUSTON!

THE PENULTIMATE LOOKALIKE!
 

HOORAY FOR BRIGHAM YOUNG!

When BYU (Brigham Young University for the acronym-challenged) upheld their honor code and suspended the top rebounder on their highly ranked basketball team for the rest of the year, the school did the right thing. If a school has an honor code, the school must enforce it; otherwise the school is showing that it has no honor.

The punishment here for the “crime” of engaging in consensual pre-marital sex is harsh indeed in the context of mainstream American culture in 2011, but the honor code calls for students to live a chaste life. There is not a lot of wiggle-room in the word “chaste” under these circumstances.

I feel sorry for the team and the suspended player here. Nevertheless, I respect the school and the athletic department for doing what they ought to have done when there had to be serious temptations for all those adults to look the other way.





SPEAKING OF HONOR AND INTEGRITY, IT'S LACKING HERE!

Meanwhile, the lack of honor and integrity regarding the NCAA and BCS seems to be more evident as each day goes by. We had the investigation at Auburn last Fall by the NCAA sleuths who came to the conclusion that Cam Newton did not lose eligibility because they could not prove he knew that others were selling his services or trying to do so to various colleges and universities.

Then the IRS started looking into potentially improper expenditures by the folks who run three out of the four BCS bowl games.

Now, we hear that there may be a “recruiting service” located in Texas that has been channeling players to Oregon, which was Auburn’s opponent in the BCS Championship Game two months ago.

Look at the above and then look again at the BYU situation. Even if you think the BYU folks over-reacted, which I do not, do you today think more highly of the BYU folks than you do about the NCAA and BCS folks.

DUKE TO SKIP TOURNAMENT IN ORDER TO MAKE VIRAL TRICK SHOT VIDEO

March 9 (SP) - Duke head coach Mike Krzyzewski announced today that the Blue Devils will skip the ACC Tournament in order to spend time making a trick shot video the program hopes will get a lot of views on YouTube.

“You have to be able to adapt in the game of basketball,” said Krzyzewski. “And things have changed. Winning isn’t what it’s all about anymore. Today it’s more about getting a lot of views and likes on YouTube. I’m not going to stand in the way of these kids’ dreams. I mean, Nolan Smith can make a shot from half court through his legs. The world needs to see it.”


Krzyzewski said his team’s struggles down the stretch — losing two of its last three — is due to a change in practice habits.


“For the past month we’ve been spending most of our practice time working on our trick shots,” said the coach. “I think it’s impressive we’ve won any games at all. But not as impressive as Kyrie Irving’s underhanded bank shot from the scorer’s table.”

That admission explains why several of Duke’s late-game possessions in a loss to North Carolina on Saturday included half-court shots by blind-folded players.


Sophomore forward Mason Plumlee says he is excited about the upcoming film shoot.


“My friends back home aren’t too impressed with national titles,” he said. “They don’t really watch basketball. What impresses them is having a viral video. I remember the coolest kid in my high school, the guy who got all the girls, had his own YouTube channel with, like, 1,100 subscribers. I want to be like him!”

Krzyzewski said that if the video is completed in time, his team will still compete in the NCAA Tournament.




“These things take time,” he said. “Seth Curry could hit his shot off the rafters in his first try or his 400th try. You never know. But I hope to play in the NCAA Tournament. That kind of publicity could really boost the profile of our trick shot video.”


THE NFL AND NFLPA ARE NOT YOUR BUDDIES THOUGH THEY MAY ACT LIKE IT!

While the NFL and NFLPA wage war, here’s a tip for both: Cut it out. Stop treating the fans like idiots. Stop insulting us with a bunch of we’re-best-friends bullshit.



What world do these guys live in? What world do they think the fans live in?


Both the NFL and NFLPA have tried to make their cases while claiming to be on the fans’ side. From the NFLPA, last week, after a federal ruling went its way: “This ruling means there is irrefutable evidence that owners had a premeditated plan to lock out players and fans for more than two years.”

Hey, speak for yourselves. Neither side really cares about the fans, never has, and never will. That is, until it’s too late. Both sides treat fans, especially the local patrons like pack mules that are whipped until they give out and die of exhaustion.

For league commissioner, Roger “It’s All About the Fans” Goodell, and NFLPA rep, DeMaurice Smith, and their respective staffs to claim an alliance with fans or fake their regard for the public is the kind of magic that fools only the simple-minded. So why bother?


I’m not taking sides in the NFL labor dispute, but if forced to make a commitment, I’d go with management, as they make it possible for the players to have jobs in the NFL in the first place. Let’s face it, players are a dime a dozen; billionaires aren't.

Neither side will take any advice from fans during the negotiations during this dispute and each side will only hear the fans who happen to support their positions.

Do what you’ve got to do, guys, and then let us know when it’s all over.

FLUB OF THE DAY

On Tuesday’s Morning Show (3/8) on KGOW 1560 with John and Lance, boxer Juan Diaz was a guest and he told us he was accepted to Dartmouth Law School in Massachusetts. I guess to Southerners all northeastern states look the same. Dartmouth is actually actually in New Hampshire.

Speaking of J&L, on Wednesday's show (3/9) John said that this is the 13th first day of Lent that Houston's top talk-show duo have been together. Actually, it's their 14th.

Sports talkers all over are telling us that Kevin Love of the Minnesota Timberwolves broke a record with 52 consecutive double-doubles.  Robert Neagli of Sporting News Radio now located here in Houston was the first one that I heard mention the record on Wednesday night (3/9), which surpassed Moses Malone’s 51 double-doubles. But it is actually a bogus record. It is a record since the NBA-ABA merger in 1976. However, Wilt Chamberlain actually had 227 consecutive double-doubles from 1964-67 and he averaged a double-double for all 14 of his seasons. Plus, the Stilt had 10 seasons where he averaged at least a 20-20 and seven years where his rebounds were over 20 and his points were above 30. Elvin Hayes had 55 straight double-doubles with the Baltimore Bullets during the 1973-74 season. All of a sudden NBA records before 1976 don’t count or is it because it’s a white guy and not too many records are held by white guys, so the NBA became generous.


Kevin Love: "I never could've gotten all those double-doubles without my teammates missing so many shots"



On Sunday’s afternoon show (3/6) on SR610, Greg Koch and Brien Straw were putting together an original list of Houston’s greatest athletes. In discussing David Clyde, Greg said that Clyde made his first start a day after he graduated from high school. Actually, David made his first start four weeks after graduating from Westchester High School. Once again, sports talkers saying anything they want and getting away with it even if it’s factually wrong.

Mike Meltser on his morning show on SR610 on Tuesday (3/8) was talking about Oklahoma City's 107-101 Monday night loss to Memphis.  He said that the game wasn't that close. The Thunder were trailing, 100-96, with 1:45 left in the game and both teams were scoreless for the next minute. Over the last 1:45, Kevin Durant missed three treys and had a shot blocked by Tony Allen. I consider that a close game. I guess a 10-point win by a team is considered a blowout by Mike's standards.

And this is not a flub, but more like a lie, as Marc Vandermeer closed out his Tuesday show (3/8) by telling us to stay tuned for Mike's show, which "is the most underrated sports talk show in the country". Once again, sports talk hosts saying anything they want whether it's fact or fiction. 

SELECTION SUNDAY IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER! (S/R CREW)

Once again, this is information that you will probably never  ever hear on the local sports talk shows because they’re too lazy to do some work, if it’s not handed to them on a silver platter or on the Internet. It's so much easier to talk about Charlie Sheen or Josh Innes' personal life.

This coming Sunday (3/13), the field will be announced for the NCAA #1 Seed Tournament. That’s what it is, isn’t it? The #1 Seed Tournament? That’s all the television analysts talk about. “Who will the #1 seeds be?” “Should this team be a #1 Seed?” “What does this team have to do to be a #1 seed?” Someday, they are going to have 68 #1 seeds in the NCAA Tournament, just to try to drum up some more hype.


Who the fuck cares who the #1 seeds are!? Just schedule the fuckin' games so people can bet on them, and then play the games!

Of course, the first thing that Greg Gumbel will say on the CBS Selection Show is, “And now, here are the four #1 seeds!” Oh, geez, what an annoying thing. And then, it’s all about, “Which #1 seed is most vulnerable?,” and “Which #1 seed has the easiest draw?” What a crock of shit! How can anyone tell? After that drivel, it’s all about how this #1 seed is in trouble because it is trailing 12-10 in the first half, and how many #1 seeds are still left, and how many #1 seeds have reached the Elite Eight, and whatever else anyone can connect to a #1 seed that they think sounds interesting, but are very wrong.


It is now time for the annual public service of revealing the members of the NCAA Selection Committee, to help people understand why some teams make the NCAA Tournament and others do not. You can bet that the local sports talkers won't give you this information.


NCAA Selection Committee:

Gene Smith - Ohio State Athletic Director
Mike Bobinski - Xavier University Athletic Director
Ron Wellman - Wake Forest Athletic Director
Jeff Hathaway - Connecticut Athletic Director
Lynn Hickey - Texas-San Antonio Athletic Director
Doug Fullerton - Big Sky Conference Commissioner
Scott Barnes - Utah State University Athletic Director
Stan Morrison - California-Riverside Athletic Director
Dan Beebe - Big 12 Conference Commissioner
Steve Orsini - Southern Methodist Athletic Director


A glance at the list shows us that the SEC has no representation. Joe Bracketologist on ESPN keeps saying that Alabama and Georgia are out of the Tournament. I’ll bet that if there was somebody with ties to the Southeastern Conference sitting on this season’s selection committee, Mr. Bracketologist would have Alabama and Georgia in right now. But when you have Big Ten, ACC, Big East, and Big 12 representation in the room, and plenty of bubble teams in those conferences, and no SEC voice in the room…you get the picture. Do you think USC can get an At-Large bid if the Trojans don’t win the PAC 10 Tournament? Good luck. There is no PAC 10 representation on the Selection Committee.


Utah State is a team that always wins a lot of games, but sometimes gets snubbed if they don’t win the WAC Tournament, because they usually play a weak non-conference slate. But this year, the Utah State Athletic Director is on the Selection Committee! How fuckin' convenient.


When a talking-head goofball clown like Jay Bilas on ESPN shows a highlight of a team like Richmond, and says, “This is an NCAA Tournament team,” one week before the NCAA Selection Committee announces the field, he doesn't tell us the whole story.

In the case of Richmond, there is an Atlantic 10 Conference rep on the Selection Committee to help “take care of them.” As noted above, perhaps these talking heads see the same thing. They’re just not going to announce the make-up and conference ties on television and give the public something to think about that could damage the integrity of the sport.

And please note that the Selection Committee members are also lackeys to the televising networks, which is why the public gets Mid-Major pitted against Mid-Major, instead of Mid-Major vs. Big East and Mid-Major vs. Big 12, so that two name-brand schools from conferences with national TV contracts aren’t knocked out by the likes of Old Dominion and Utah State.

Then there is the woman, Lynn Dickey, who is the Athletic Director at Texas-San Antonio. She’s been on the committee for a while now. She must keep doing a great job of buying the best donuts and coffee and setting the prettiest centerpiece for the meetings. So, they let her stay on it as long as she doesn’t say things like, “Why don’t we make it a four-point shot from 30-feet and beyond in the final minute? That would be nice!”

COOLEST SPORTS NICKNAMES

Today’s sports nicknames are terrible. Most of them are nothing more than a combination of a player’s first and last name. However, there are a few cool ones today. One of them is “Disco”.

Chris “Disco” Hayes is an undrafted 28-year-old minor league pitcher in the Kansas City Royals’ farm system (Omaha AAA) who become an Internet folk hero? He has an odd throwing motion and a catchy nickname. Hayes pitches with a unique sidearm motion that slows his pitches down, but confuses hitters. Fans gave him the nickname “Disco” because his slow repertoire “maxes out in the 70s.” Coincidentally, this is also where the Royals’ annual win totals max out.



A LOGICAL PROMOTION FOR THE CURRENTLY UNEMPLOYED CHARLIE SHEEN

Though I am not a Charlie Sheen fan, I did enjoy his portrayal of Chris in the 1986 Academy Award winning flick, “Platoon” and as Bud Fox the next year in "Wall Street".

Charlie has been a big topic not only nationally, but on local sports talk over the last several weeks, though he really has nothing to do with sports despite a series of three baseball-themed movies and the possibility of a fourth one. Nonetheless, his crazy ramblings over the last two weeks or so have put his existence in a position such that they can't be ignored.

That got me to thinking that since Charlie is a decent baseball player who was a star shortstop and pitcher at Santa Monica (CA) High and the fact that he is currently unemployed, a baseball team could come up with a promotion involving Charlie to put a few extra bucks in his pocket.


Since Charlie insists that he has “tiger” blood, this promotion can work for any team whose nickname is the “Tigers”. Since I don’t think the Detroit Tigers want to get involved here, they do have a high-A affiliate, the Lakeland Flying Tigers of the Florida State League who play in Joker Marchant Stadium, which is also the spring training home of the Detroit Tigers. FYI, the team is named after the Lodwick (nee Lakeland) School of Aeronautics.


The team could sign Charlie to a one-game contract and suit him up to play whatever position he wants to play for as long as he wants to play it in one game this season. It could draw some extra folks to the park and it will surely generate publicity for the franchise over all the major networks.


If Charlie is serious about doing Major League IV, he might use this as a promotional “stunt” for the movie. Hey, it has to be worth a call from folks who do “promo stuff” for the Lakeland Flying Tigers to Charlie’s "people".

ANY NFL TEAM INTERESTED IN GREG McELROY?

You probably heard that Alabama QB, Greg McElroy, scored a 48 (out of 50) on the Wonderlic test administered at the NFL Combine. Now consider some of McElroy’s real world sophistication, as you think about this comment in response to someone noting that he is not as athletically gifted as Cam Newton: “But I don’t think I’m the only guy in the NFL that might have the same problem. I don’t think Peyton Manning is as athletic as Cam.” Greg seems to be smart, mentally quick, and candid. I don't think McElroy will be taken early in the draft, but some team ought to look at all those characteristics and take a chance on the kid. I’m sure the Texans won’t.

ODDS AND ENDS:

1. A high school baseball player in Florida hit 5 HRs and drove in 17 runs in a game stopped by a mercy rule after 5 innings. Windermere Prep beat Faith Christian, 38-0, in that game. Given this player’s accomplishments in that game, he is the aptly named: Austin Glorious. If it turns out that baseball is not his calling in life, here is a guy that can go into the WWE as a wrestler without having to change his name.

2. Phillies catcher Brian Schneider said that there isn’t likely to be a work stoppage in baseball: “The owners are doing great, baseball is doing great, fans are coming, the numbers are up across the board. So it’s kind of one of those things where you don’t want to screw anything up.” I wonder if the NFL owners and players heard Brian’s comment.

3. Here’s a twist with regard to stadiums and naming rights. The MLS team in Kansas City has turned the idea of stadium naming rights upside down. Their stadium will be called LiveStrong Sporting Park; they are partners with Lance Armstrong’s non-profit entity that helps people who are cancer survivors and people who are living with cancer. The twist here is that LiveStrong is not paying for the naming rights. The team will pay LiveStrong a portion of all stadium revenues from tickets to concessions to have the foundation’s name on the stadium.

4. Speaking of Kansas City, NFL Films president, Steve Sabol, was hospitalized in Kansas City earlier this week after suffering what has been called a “seizure”. Here’s hoping for a full and speedy recovery, so that he could attend his dad’s (Ed) induction into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in August.

CRIER’S CORNER

BASKETBALL ACTION

Yesterday’s Record ATS: 7-4

W - UTAH (Pick ‘em) over TORONTO*
W - SACRAMENTO* (+9) over ORLANDO


BIG EAST CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT (at Madison Square Garden, New York, NY)
W - CONNECTICUT (-3) over GEORGETOWN
W - RUTGERS (+10) over ST. JOHN’S*
L – SOUTH FLORIDA (+10) over CINCINNATI


BIG XII CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT (at Sprint Center, Kansas City, MO)
W - COLORADO vs. IOWA STATE (TOTAL UNDER 154)


CONFERENCE USA TOURNAMENT (at Don Haskins Center, El Paso, TX)
W - EAST CAROLINA (+4) over CENTRAL FLORIDA
L - TULSA (+8) over SOUTHERN MISSISSIPPI
W - MARSHALL (-8.5) over HOUSTON


WESTERN ATHLETIC CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT (at Orleans Arena, Las Vegas, NV)
L - HAWAII (-1.5) over SAN JOSE STATE


PAC-10 CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT (at Staples Center, Los Angeles, CA)
L - ARIZONA STATE (+1) over OREGON

Cumulative Season Record ATS (excludes “pushes”): 472-298

Today’s NBA Action (for reading purposes only):

DENVER (+3.5) over PHOENIX*

In the long-run, Denver will be just fine as the pain of losing a superstar goes away. Superstars attract light, they don’t necessarily make winning teams. The Nuggets started their new era playing great. They still have young talent, can bond as a team that is dismissed, and it could even rejuvenate George Karl into doing some of the best coaching of his career. Phoenix can go on dry spells if Steve Nash is not aggressive. DENVER, 104-98




MIKE IN DA

HMW